Residents talk out about candidates

By Tracy Farr
Editor, The Daily Spittoon

Even though the March 4 Texas primary is two months away, local Stinky Creekians have plenty to say about the candidates, the presidential election process and anything else even remotely related to politics.

"It's amazing how much money those candidates spend just to be elected," said Harriet Wise, a teacher at Stinky Creek Elementary.  "If they were to spend that money on teacher pay raises I could afford to travel to Washington and REALLY give them a piece of my mind."

"I'm sorry, but does Mike Huckabee really expect to be elected -- with a name like Huckabee?" said 85-year-old Sam Mintz, a retired railroad worker.  "Sounds too much like huckleberry, and who wants a President Huckleberry representing them on foreign matters?  Not me!  We don't get respect as it is, and that wouldn't make things any better."

"We don't need another president from Arkansas," agreed Matthew White referring to Huckabee. White is a 21-year-old college student.  "One Arkansas president was enough."

"I'd vote for Hillary Clinton, but who wants Bill in the White House again?" asked Debbie Myerson, a 35-year-old housewife.  "And I wouldn't put it passed her to purposefully get caught in a closet with a male intern just to get back at her cheating husband."

"Whenever I go fishing I'm reminded of Mitt Romney," said 65-year-old Terrence Swift, a long-haul truck driver.  "He flip flops more than the fish do.  Anybody who'd vote for him should be skinned, filleted, and served with rice."

"Electing who becomes president really has nothing to do with the issues," said 18-year-old Tasha Smith.  "It has to do with your age and how tall you are.  That's why I'm in no way voting for John McCain.  I definitely don't want some short old fart as president."

"I think it's time for us to have a black president," said 47-year-old Cathy Thompson, a local 911 dispatcher, referring to Barack Obama.  "Even though he's just half black, that's good enough for me.  I just wish he had a regular name like Ted Smith or Al Jones.  His name makes you want to call Homeland Security and haul him off to Guantanamo."