Man trying to save a buck loses eye

By Tracy Farr
Editor, The Daily Spittoon

A local man looking to save money on a doctor's visit recently tried to lance a stye under his own eye.  Unfortunately, things didn't quite turn out as he planned.

"Two years ago I had a stye under my right eye and paid a doctor $250 to poke it and get rid of it," said Harry Joyner, a 57-year-old auto mechanic. "I thought I could save some money by doing it myself this time, but I guess I was wrong."

Joyner said he was standing in the bathroom, a filet knife pressed up against the stye under his eye, when the accident occurred.

"I was standing there, looking at this knife so close to my eye, thinking I could do it, and at the same time thinking it was a stupid thing to do," Joyner said.  "I was just about to give the stye a poke when Felix, our cat, brushed up against my leg scaring me have to death.  Next thing I know, my eyeball is in the sink."

Joyner's wife, Debbie, heard him screaming and rushed to the bathroom to see what was wrong.

"She saw all that blood and fainted dead away," Joyner said.  "I had to call 911 myself."

Thinking that the doctors might be able to reattach his eye, Joyner picked it up and plopped it into a class of cold milk.

"The doctors said that if it hadn't been for my quick thinking, I would have lost the eye forever,"  Joyner said.  "They were able to reattach it and it works almost as good as new.  It's a little bit milky looking, but who cares.  I can still see and that's all that matters."