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The Official Newspaper of Stinky Creek, Texas |
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The Official Newspaper of Stinky Creek, Texas |
Howdy!
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Hiker spots Llama-Man in woods By Tracy Farr Joseph Terrell was hiking past the woods behind the old Hanson Farm Wednesday evening when he spotted something that froze him in his tracks. The moon was full that night and Terrell could plainly see a pack of wild feral llamas running through the woods. But what sent shivers running up and down his spine was not seeing the llamas -- it was seeing the man who was with them. The Llama-Man. "I've heard tale of a wild Llama-Man running through the woods these past 16 years, but I didn't actually believe it," Terrell said. "But I seen it with my own two eyes. And I don't mind telling you it scared me cold." Terrell describes the Llama-Man as being about six feet tall with long black hair. He was mostly naked except for llama-skin pants. It is believed that the Llama-Man is actually Scott Van Dyer, a boy that disappeared 16 years ago when he was seven; a boy that got lost in the woods and was raised by wild llamas. For months, authorities hunted for Scott all over Crappie County, but they never found a trace of him. "My Scott was a good boy," said Martha Van Dyer, Scott's mother. She and Ed Van Dyer, her husband, split up soon after Scott went missing. "Scott would never have taken up with those wild llamas. He was my baby. He was so sweet." According to Philip Means, the Crappie County Extension Agent, llamas may look cute, fluffy and tame, but there's a darker side to them. "At night, when nobody is around watching, we believe they gather in packs and roam the countryside," Means said. "They rip up gardens, tear down fences, and now we believe they befriend runaways and lost children. One of these days, I have no doubt that we'll find all the missing children of this world. And when we do, we'll discover they've been running with llamas -- and that they've all been llama-tized." Authorities are asking residents to be on the lookout for spit puddles on sidewalks. The puddles are a definite sign that the Llama-Man has been in the area. Authorities recommend that if you see a pack of wild llamas, or the Llama-Man, to stay away from them and call the police. |
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The Daily Spittoon is an independently owned rural newspaper. |
