Llama-Man caught on video tape

By Tracy Farr
Editor, The Daily Spittoon

Speculation about whether or not a Llama-Man truly exists can now be put to rest. The Llama-Man, accompanied by a pack of feral llamas, was recently caught on video tape robbing Garvin's Feed Store & Tack Shop.

The video shows a young man, about six feet tall with long black hair, mostly naked except for wearing llama-skin pants, breaking through the store's front window. The Llama-Man then picks up several bags of Sweet Gold horse feed and leaves through the broken window. It's hard to make out, but several llamas can be seen waiting outside the store.

"He picked up those bags like you or I would pick up a packet of sugar," Sheriff Max Welter said. "We believe he put them on the backs of waiting llamas and then fled the area, but we have no idea which way they went. It's an unbelievable video."

According to Garvin Farrar, owner of Garvin's Feed Store, four bags of the horse feed were taken.

"At first I couldn't believe that this sort of thing could happen in our community, but then I saw the surveillance video," Farrar said. "The video is a little fuzzy and hard to make out, but he's there, plain as day -- the Llama-Man. It makes you think twicee about leaving your doors unlocked at night."

The Llama-Man is believed to be Scott Van Dyer, a boy who disappeared 16 years ago when he was seven. Authorities say the boy got lost in the woods and was raised by wild llamas. Residents searched for the missing boy for months, but he was never found.

"We're asking all our residents to be on the lookout for any feral llamas or llama signs," said Welter. "We believe they are close by, possibly in the woods behind the Hanson Farm, but they could be anywhere. Keep your doors and windows locked. And if you happen to see any llamas, specifically the Llama-Man, do not approach them. We don't think they're dangerous, but you can never tell what a llama is thinking."