Bill and Marianne Snell recently celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary by publishing a book that details their secrets to a long marriage.

The couple, who are both 88 years old, answered questions about their book "Mate, Checkmate" during a signing party at the Stinky Creek Saloon.

DAILY SPITTOON: So tell us, what is the secret to a long and happy marriage?

BILL: If we told you that, you wouldn't need to buy the book and we wouldn't get rich. So buy the book and find out.

MARIANNE: Now Bill, don't be like that. Tell the nice man what he wants to know.

BILL: Yes Dear!

SPITTOON: So Bill, what's the secret?

BILL: I just told you, you moron. It's "Yes Dear!" Anything comes up you don't agree with, just say "Yes Dear!"

MARIANNE: Now Bill, apologize for calling him a moron.

BILL: Yes Dear! I'm sorry you're a moron.

SPITTOON: Thanks. So, I'm sure there were plenty of happy moments and sad moments in your 70 years together. Would you like to share a few?

BILL: Hell No! Read the book.

MARIANNE: Now Bill, you could tell him about the time you took me to see Elvis. That's when I fell in love with you.

BILL: Yes Dear. We went to see Elvis and that's when she fell in love with me. How's that?

SPITTOON: Marianne, what was it about seeing Elvis that made you fall in love with Bill?

MARIANNE: He was so cute, and he hated Elvis. I figured any guy who hated Elvis but took me to see him anyway was the guy for me. We've been together ever since.

BILL: He was a moron with loose hips. Why she wanted to see him I'll never understand.

SPITTOON: How about bad times? Is there anything you want to share about when times were tough but you made it through together?

BILL: Where do you come up with these questions? Oprah?

MARIANNE: Now Bill, tell him about the time we had to go a week eating nothing but potatoes. But I made them with love, and we survived.

BILL: Yes Dear. We ate potatoes. She made them with love. We survived. I'll never eat another potato as long as I live -- which will probably be during this interview if you keep asking stupid questions.

MARIANNE: Now Bill.

BILL: Yes Dear. Sorry. Ask your next stupid question.

SPITTOON: If you could do it all over again, would you marry each other?

MARIANNE: I'd marry him without even thinking about it. He has been and will always be the only man for me.

SPITTOON: And you, Bill? Bill?

BILL: I'm sorry, can you give me some time to think about it? My mind's not as quick as it used to be.

MARIANNE: Now Bill.

BILL: What? What did I say?

MARIANNE: Nothing, and that's why you better answer him -- NOW! Now Bill!

BILL: Yes Dear. I'd marry her without thinking about it. She has been and will always be the only woman for me. How was that?

MARIANNE: I knew you loved me. Can't fool me.

Bill and Marianne's book "Mate, Checkmate" is on sale wherever fine books are sold.