Mayor Reese speaks to graduates

By Tracy Farr
Editor, The Daily Spittoon

In his commencement address Saturday, Mayor Herbert Reese told the graduating seniors of Stinky Creek High School that adversity is around every corner, but to never give up.

“I’m reminded of the day three years ago when our town was first terrorized by a massive swarm of blood-sucking mosquitoes,” Mayor Reese said. “I decided right then and there that I would not rest until the promise of a mosquito-free town reached every resident of this fair city.”

Mayor Reese delivered his 15-minute address to 37 graduating seniors, friends and family members on the High School football field. The day was fairly windy, but it did not dampen the graduates’ enthusiasm for the mayor’s tough talk against mosquitoes.

“The war against these pesky mosquitoes began on my watch, and I plan to end it on my watch as long as I’m re-elected,” Mayor Reese told the graduates. The largest concentration of the bugs is located in the middle eastern section of town. “By bombarding this fair city with the biggest bug bombs known to man, we will bring mosquito-free barbecues and picnics to many of our residents, and we will lay the foundation for a mosquito-free Stinky Creek for generations to come.”

Mayor Reese recounted his strategy for fighting mosquitoes, saying city officials continue to view anyone who allows stagnant water to build up on their property, which turns into a breeding ground for mosquitoes, is equally guilty of being a mosquito. He received loud applause when he told of his doctrine of pre-emptive strikes, attacking mosquitoes before they have a chance to breed.

“If your neighbors are not diligent, mosquitoes will breed and attack us at will,” Mayor Reese said, slapping at a bug on his neck. “Against such an enemy, there is only one effective response: We will hit them hard, we will never back down, we will never give in, and we will never accept anything less than complete victory.”

In recent months, Mayor Reese has referred to mosquitoes, flies and crickets as the "axis of evil." It is widely believed that he already has his sights on eradicating those pests as well.

"I'm not saying that we'll strike them with massive bug bombs that may cause cancer in our residents," Mayor Reese said several months ago, "but all options are on the table."

After the ceremony, Mayor Reese and his family flew to western Maine where there is little to no mosquito problems this time of year.