KSTK to air 'Mowing with the Stars'

By Tracy Farr
Editor, The Daily Spittoon

Stinky Creek's KSTK Channel 9 will air a new locally-made television series this season called "Mowing with the Stars."

According to the station's general manager, Bryan Harrison, the show will match up local celebrities with professional landscapers in a weekly game show that will see who can produce the best lawns in the area.

"Yes, we're cashing in on the popularity of other shows which have the same basic premise," Harrison said, "but around here, people would rather see sweaty people putting in a new flower bed than sweaty people dancing the Cha-Cha-Cha."

The show will feature local celebrities such as Sheriff Max Welter, Mayor Herbert Reese, Booger Thompson of Booger's Burgers, as well as Channel 9's own weatherman Allen Peever.

"Nobody really knows this, but Allen Peever has the brownest thumb on the planet.  Any plant he touches dies immediately," Harrison said.  "But put him with one of our landscape professionals and miraculous things happen."

Channel 9 will broadcast the first episode next Thursday at 9 p.m. and will air the show for nine weeks.  During the season finale, local Stinky Creekians will vote on which celebrity was able to produce the most pleasing front yard in town.

"I believe America has been waiting for a show like this," Harrison said.  "No longer will our viewers have to suffer through an hour of 'pretty' people moving in ways that would make their grandmothers blush.  Now they have a choice.  Now they can tune in and watch real people digging in the dirt in order to make our planet a more enjoyable place in which to live."