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The Official Newspaper of Stinky Creek, Texas |
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The Official Newspaper of Stinky Creek, Texas |
Howdy!
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Mayor: Turn off TV for the day
By Tracy Farr Even though a large group of Stinky Creekians think he is off his rocker, Stinky Creek Mayor Herbert Reese wants everybody to turn off their TVs Thursday and get out and enjoy what the real world has to offer. "And why not?" asked the mayor at a recent town council meeting. "Why shouldn't we encourage our citizens to get their big behinds off their couches and get out and do things with their families and neighbors? If they get their big behinds up and moving, eventually they won't be so big." According to a recent Census poll, the average American watches 4.5 hours of television a day. That adds up to 1642.5 hours a year, which equals around 68 days. "If we live to be 70, the average American will have spent 13 years in front of a glowing box that very rarely offers us anything of value," Reese said. "Not only that, but we know more about the actors on television than we do our friends and neighbors. And that's a downright shame." "I say let's turn the thing off and get down to living," Reese added. "Are you with me?" Some local residents made it quite apparent that they weren't "with" the mayor. "Are you crazy?" asked long-time resident Jeff Robbins. "Thursday is when my favorite shows come on. Besides, what do you want us to do all day without TV? Just sit and stare at an empty screen? Mr. Mayor, you've gone off the deep end this time." "I've got to have the television on," agreed Martha Chapa. "I'm home alone all day while the husband is off to work. The television keeps me company. It's like a friend in the next room. You're basically asking me to kill my friend for 24 hours. What kind of fiend are you?" "I have four children that are too young to go to school," said Angie Docker. "If it wasn't for the TV keeping them occupied, I'd go out of my ever-loving mind. You don't have children at home, do you mayor? 'Cause if you did, you'd know what a Godsend television is. Without TV I'd have to sit down with my kids, think of activities for them to do, play with them, answer their questions, and all that other stuff. I think you need to stop coming up with 'pie-in-the-sky' ideas and get down to figuring out why our cable bills are increasing." |
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The Daily Spittoon is an independently owned rural newspaper. |
