Parents voice outrage over SNCLB

By Tracy Farr
Editor, The Daily Spittoon

Parents of school-aged children are up in arms over Stinky Creek Independent School District's new policy of "not sparing the rod."

Earlier in the summer, Stinky Creek's superintendent, Marcus Spilling, announced the school district would implement a new program called "Spare No Child's Left Behind." The program was designed to get back to the basics of running a school by paddling students who misbehaved.

But local parents have voiced outrage over the new policy.

"How dare you make a policy to beat our children just so you can get back to the 'basics' of running a school," Margarett Homerly said, addressing members of the school board during its regular monthly meeting. "If my boy needs beating, I know how to tan his hide good; but you nor anyone else is going to hit my boy just because he forgot to raise his hand or because he talked in the lunch line when he wasn't supposed to. My boy is my life; my world; and if you hurt him, I'm coming after you!"

About 200 parents were at the school board meeting to voice their disapproval of the new policy. They applauded several times during Mrs. Homerly's speech.

"I don't mean I would bodily harm you," Mrs. Homerly said. "Yes, I ran over my ex-husband with a car because he was cheating on me with the preacher's wife, but I wouldn't come after you in a car. I'd come after you with votes. And I think I would have enough support to vote your sorry butts right off this school board.

"And as for YOU, Mr Superintendent," she continued, "You mentioned wanting to get back to the 'Three R's'. Yes, the word 'reading' starts with an R, but the last time I looked, writing and arithmetic don't. I think you need to go back to school and learn how to spell. And you call yourself an educator."

After the cheering died down, the school board went into executive session and then adjourned.

Superintendent Spilling declined to make any comments after the meeting.