Camo Hat Society to send rats to China

By Tracy Farr
Editor, The Daily Spittoon

In an effort to better improve trade relations between America and China, the Ladies of the Camo Hat Society have made it their mission to help China celebrate the Year of the Rat by sending as many American rats to that country as possible.

"I believe we Americans have a duty to help our fellow man in any way possible," said Judy Bankhead, president of the local Camo Hat chapter.  "And if it means rounding up all our filthy rats and UPSing them over to China so they can enjoy some weird celebration, then that's what we're going to do."

Bankhead and the other Camo Hat Society ladies are setting out traps all over town in the hopes of meeting their goal of catching 1,000 rats.

"It wouldn't be worth it just to send them a couple of hundred," Bankhead said.  "We've got to make our gift worthwhile.  We've got to show them that we care about their traditions.  At the same time we're doing that, we're also helping ourselves by getting rid of the nasty little boogers.  The way I see it, it's a win-win situation."

The only thing that may stand in the way of the Camo Hat Society's generosity is the rules about transporting live animals into foreign countries, said Bankhead.

"We're not really sure what the import-export rules are about UPSing live rats into China," Bankhead said,  "but we have contingency plans.  If they try to stop us, we'll just put the rats in cases of old Christmas fruitcakes and hope for the best.  And if we're lucky, we'll kill two birds with one stone."