Grandmother cuts off son's hand

By Tracy Farr
Editor, The Daily Spittoon

An 83-year-old grandmother cut off her son's hand when he tried to take away her television remote control.  He thought he could watch his favorite TV show while his mother slept.  She had other ideas.

"I've been telling him for years to keep his hands off of my remote," said Esther Robinson of her 62-year-old son Rudy.  "I guess now he knows I mean what I say."

Rudy Robinson visited his mother every Thursday night.  He was there to see how she was doing, usually stayed for dinner and then watched television with her until she was tired and ready to go to bed.

"I've been coming to visit her for more than 20 years," Rudy said.  "Not no more.  My visiting days are over."

According to Rudy, he and his mother were watching television when she nodded off and fell asleep.  Wanting to change the channel, he gently pulled the remote out of Esther's hand when she opened her eyes and severed his hand with an axe.

"Out of nowhere she was swinging this little axe at me," Rudy recalled.  "The next thing I know my hand is lying on the floor, still clutching the remote, and blood is going everywhere. The pain was tremendous."

Mrs. Robinson drove her son to the emergency room where doctors were able to eventually reattach his hand.

"I was being sneaky," Esther told the police.  "I was just pretending to be asleep because I just knew he was going to grab my remote.  I pulled that axe out of my knitting bag and whacked him a good one.  I would have stabbed him with one of my knitting needles but they're new and I didn't want to break them."

Doctors say Rudy Robinson will eventually regain full use of his hand.  When asked, Mr. Robinson said he wasn't going to press charges against his mother.

"I betcha he'll never do that again," Mrs. Robinson said, "and if he does, I'll whack off both of his hands and tell the doctors to reattach them backwards."