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The Official Newspaper of Stinky Creek, Texas |
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The Official Newspaper of Stinky Creek, Texas |
Spittoon Features
Front Page The Daily Spittoon is updated every Monday morning before the entire staff heads over to the Stinky Creek Saloon for lunch. If you have any complaints, don't interrupt us while we're eating. Just send us an email. Send all
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NY sex scandals get locals talking By Tracy Farr Even though New York is far away from Crappie County and is considered by most locals as a foreign country, the recent sex scandals there have gotten people talking here. "It's hard to believe that a governor would stoop so low as to do what he did to his wonderful wife," said Sherry Monroe. "I'm just so glad to know that my husband Jerry would never do something like that to me and the kids. I guess I'm just lucky." Jerry Monroe nodded his head and agreed. "What was the guy thinking of?" he said. "But it does beg the question -- what does a guy get when he hires a $4,000 hooker? I'm guessing he's getting all the bells and whistles, whips and leather." "I'll tell you what YOU'D get for it," responded Sherry Monroe. "You'd get a $5 million divorce. You'd get the divorce and I'd get the $5 million." "Can you imagine spending $4,000 on something you can't eat or drive?" said Elmer Ketchins. "Me and the missus got an understanding. She says if I ever do that, she'll kill me. And I understand that completely." "We're in love," responded Louise Ketchins. "I heard somewhere that's all you need. And if he ever needs anything more than that he knows to bend over and kiss his bottom goodbye." Hillary Edmonds doesn't have to worry about her man having wandering eyes. If they DO wander, she just sews them back on. "Antonio has never done anything that will harm me or disappoint me," Edmonds said. "I admit he's not much into conversation, but that has its pluses sometimes. The other thing it means is that he'll never leave me for some $4,000 a day doll in leather. Considering that, you could say I'm one lucky girl." Antonio didn't respond. He just sat on the couch looking off into the distance. |
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The Daily Spittoon is an independently owned rural newspaper. |
