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Stinky Creekians speak their mind
about presidential candidates

By Tracy Farr
Editor, The Daily Spittoon

Texans will go to the polls Tuesday to vote in a historic primary -- a primary that will decide whether a woman or an Afro-American gets the chance to run for the presidency. And while Stinky Creekians are waiting for their chance to vote, they're not being quiet about what they think of the candidates.

"I'm happy to see a woman running for president, but I wish it had been Barbara Bush," said Nancy Gayle, a retired nurse. "I think Barbara would have been a great president. It would have been like having your grandmother as commander in chief. And who doesn't listen to their grandma? I bet those guys in Washington would have sat down and listened to her. They wouldn't have dared talk back to her, because you know what happens when you talk back to a grandma -- no more milk and cookies."

"Obama is the one for me," said 21-year-old Whitney Nears. "He's so cute. And tall. And boy can he talk. He's not like the others. They have issues. He doesn't. He doesn't NEED them. He's Barack and that's all there is to it."

"I'm not sure who's running on the Republican side, but does it really matter?" said Terence Slaughter, a 47-year-old post office worker. "I think it's McCain. Isn't it? Sounds kind of Scottish."

"I don't have anything against women but we don't need one in the White House," said Maurice Berk, a truck driver. "It's just not natural. If God had wanted us to have a woman president, He would have told us do it in Genesis -- or at least Exodus. But He didn't. Having a woman president is even too horrifying to be put in Revelations."

"I read somewhere that Obama swore his allegiance to the Koran, called his campaign his American political jihad, and practices voodoo whenever he's in the South," said 18-year-old Michael Singer. "And did you hear that he attended an online terrorist camp taught by bin Laden himself? Well I did. Got a signed diploma and everything. I read it on the Internet. And if it's on the internet, it has to be true, doesn't it?"

For more previous comments about the candidates, click here.


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