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The Official Newspaper of Stinky Creek, Texas |
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The Official Newspaper of Stinky Creek, Texas |
Spittoon Features
Front Page The Daily Spittoon is updated every Monday morning before the entire staff heads over to the Stinky Creek Saloon for lunch. If you have any complaints, don't interrupt us while we're eating. Just send us an email. Send all
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Stinky Creek closes its doors I'm standing here on the corner of Elm and 2nd Street, in downtown Stinky Creek, and it's eerily quiet. The shops on the square are closed, there's not a car in sight, people are not bustling back and forth, there are no dogs barking in the distance. It's as if the town shut itself down before the coming of a hurricane -- except hurricanes are unheard of this far north. There's only one thing that can cause such complete desolation -- Spring Break. As I walk along Main Street, a piece of paper flutters by making scratching noises on the asphalt. It looks like it's a flyer for an after-Easter sale at Hank's Department Store. I watch it as it moves along the street. It stops right in front of Hanks. When the flyer realizes the store is closed, it continues on its way. I leave Main Street and turn left on Elm. A short 5-minute walk brings me into a residential area. I'm in the 900 block of Elm. There's a beige house with white shutters on my left and a brown house with a brick fireplace on my right. The Welch family lives in the beige house and the Farrow family lives in the brown. Both houses look vacant. At any other time I wouldn't dare walk up and peek into the Welch's bay window, but I do this time. They left the curtain open and it's dark inside. I see a piece of sheet music on an upright piano. It looks like it might be Mozart, but I'm not sure. The house is quiet and the piano isn't telling. I move away from the house and look down Elm Street. A squirrel runs across the road, stops to pick up an acorn, then dashes up a tree and is gone. He and I are the only signs of life. I head up Elm back to the square and notice a sign in the window of Fred's Barbershop. It reads: "Closed for Spring Break. Won't be back till after Easter. Your hair can wait that long. If you don't have anything better to do, join us out at the lake. We're fishing and you're more than welcome. Fred." I rub my hand along the back of my neck. My hair is still short from the last haircut I got. I can wait to get another one for at least a week or two. But fishing sounds good right now. And who would be crazy enough to turn down an invitation to fish with the best barber in town? Not me. Until next time -- Happy Spring Break! |
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The Daily Spittoon is an independently owned rural newspaper. |
