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The Official Newspaper of Stinky Creek, Texas |
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The Official Newspaper of Stinky Creek, Texas |
Spittoon Features
Front Page The Daily Spittoon is updated every Monday morning before the entire staff heads over to the Stinky Creek Saloon for lunch. If you have any complaints, don't interrupt us while we're eating. Just send us an email. Send all
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Sheriff responds to shots firedBy Tracy Farr Crappie County Sheriff Max Welter responded to shots being fired in the 900 block of Lone Oak this afternoon and confiscated a shotgun, beer glass and a remote control from the Webber House. "We got the call this afternoon around 4 p.m. that two shotgun blasts were heard inside Jim and Dorothy Webber's home," Welter said. "The Webbers are upstanding, law abiding citizens so we rushed over there right away." When the Sheriff arrived, he and his men surrounded the house, blocked off the rest of the neighborhood, and tried to make contact with the Webbers by telephone. "We were able to make contact with Mr. Webber, but he was very distraught. Because he was very emotional -- in other words, crying like a baby -- it was very hard to understand what was going on," Welter said. "What we did understand was they weren't being held hostage and it was okay for us to enter the premises." Sheriff Welter entered the Webber house and eventually came out carrying the shotgun, beer glass and remote control. During the ensuing press conference Welter stated: "The Webbers are okay, but I can't say as much for their television. Seems that Mr. Webber had been sitting on the couch for most of the day, watching NASCAR racing, drinking a bit of beer, and Mrs. Webber couldn't stand the roaring engines and inane broadcaster chatter any longer. Mrs. Webber fired two blasts into the television, threw the beer glass out the window, and hit Mr. Webber in the ear with the remote control. Mr. Webber is quite upset by the demise of his television set, but we think he'll eventually get over it and buy himself the 60-inch high-definition super-surround sound television set that's on sale at Sears this week. He'll more than likely also invest in a set of Bose headphones to go with it. No harm was done, Mr. Webber doesn't wish to press charges against his wife, and the couple have asked that you respect their privacy. And that's all I've got to say." |
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The Daily Spittoon is an independently owned rural newspaper. |
